Her Brain on _____

I LARP.

Minus the RP part…I only do it for the LA.

And my zebra print wrap pants.

So we just had a tornado warning and I all I did was panic.

But that’s okay. I stir fried chicken, tofu, and shiritaki noodles when I was done panicking. Was delicious, though regret not picking up any veges. And it was almost healthy, but I drenched it in general tso sauce.

This morning I had some apple slices and an over easy egg on an English muffin with avocado spread. I felt good about that.

For lunch…well, I bought Dexee those puff things, the organic kind, happy babies…turns out I love them. I ate half the cup.

Dexee is asleep now.

That Dr. Pepper Patrick went to get me is taking a while.

So after half an hour of sleeping Dexee woke up from her nap, climbed on me, and farted a bunch. She smelled so I checked her diaper, there was a little turd…but she wasn’t finished pooping. I wrapped her back up and let her go than wiped her up again. As I was about to wrap her in her new diaper I saw her but cheeks strain, her face get red, and than she groaned. I didn’t want to waste a diaper so when I saw that she this little brown tip peek out of her but I put a wipe up to it and caught it.

I literally feel like I just helped someone give birth.

After than I rocked her back to sleep.

But now I am awake.

So Today I decided to get my fat ass out of the house and go for an extra long walk with Dexee in the stroller.

I’ve started putting Dexee in the front facing stroller instead of attaching her car seat to it, even though she is still a bit small. I love it. Because she’s not facing me it’s like I get me time while still being with her, and she really enjoys being taken out in the stroller.

During the beginning of the walk I saved a turtle (again). She or he was on a bridge, stuck under the railing. I unstuck him/her and brought him/her nearer to the creek, away from the bridge.

By the end of the walk, as we were nearing home, Dexee fell asleep (though I didn’t want her too because it was an hour before she typically takes a nap).

There was no stopping her. I brought her inside, put her down, ate Patrick’s fiber one bars (oh BIG mistake, but not really because they tasted like girl scout cookies), and chilled for half an hour until some company started cutting down the tree outside of her bedroom and woke her up after only half an hours nap. Gr.

I brought Dexee to the living room, she crawled to the sliding glass door, stood up and proceeded to bang on it and scream. It was cute because it looked like she was protesting the tree being cut down.

It made me proud. I think I secretly (though not so secretly anymore) hope that Dexee becomes an activist of some sort. That’s something I’ve always appreciated to my core but have never had the heart and soul for.

We played for a long time. I watched the first episode of Spaced (hilarious, Netflix it) while Dexee climbed on stuff.

I decided to go for a walk again and Dexee fell asleep just as we got home, so she is asleep now.

For each fiber bar I’ve eaten today I’ve had to rush to the bathroom. I had three fiber bars. I may have another.

I’m waiting for Patrick to come home.

Whatever People Say I am, That’s What I’m Not will always be my favorite album. I might even love it more than Hot Fuss.

peashooter85 asked: I saw your post where someone asks you why you have a gun in your apartment while raising a baby. I did grow up with guns and know a lot about them. There are many companies out there that offer quick access safes where you just enter a pin number or even scan your thumbprint. Look up these companies- Barska, Homak, V-line, Stack-on, and GunVault. Probably could be found at any sporting goods store or athletics store (Dicks, Dunhams, Cabela's, etc.)

Thanks I appreciate that a lot!

I’m waiting for Patrick to come back with my Diet Dr. Pepper and Reeses Cups.

He doesn’t support this bad habbit of mine…but there are two things that I can bribe him with and they always work. Actually, it’s not a bribe, it’s a trade.

So like I said, waiting.

Anonymous asked: You keep a gun and ammo in a small apartment with a baby? Are you scared that when she gets older she will find them?

I don’t understand what the small apartment and having a baby has to do with it. Would it help if I told you that we are moving into a town house and she will be a toddler? Just kidding.

It’s locked and stored, I am not worried.

Although I’ll admit it does worry me a little bit when she is a lot older and sneaky, but we’ll figure out a way to make sure she can’t get to it, probably with some fancy combo lock.

I understand that a lot of my followers probably aren’t big fans of guns. When I grew up I wasn’t allowed even mock guns. I asked my mom for a water gun once…it was shaped like a bird, it didn’t even look like a gun, and she said no, no guns. I wasn’t until a few years ago until I started dating Patrick that I changed my mind. I wouldn’t say I am a fan, I will always be weary. Still I do believe that when gun safety is followed correctly, there isn’t much to worry about.

(Our apartment isn’t that small by the way…but with 4 people trying to fit all of their stuff…it feels tiny).

I am not down with all this zombie apocalypse shit.

My worst fucking nightmare.

When I read about the happenings in Florida I promptly locked all of the doors and confirmed the location of our gun/ ammo.

I live in Northern Virginia (aka Washington D.C. suburbs) and I have a baby (babies cry). If Z day were to happen we would be fucked as soon as we ran out of ammo.

On the bright side, breastfeeding would make it easier to keep Dexee alive. And we have plenty of duck tape that I could put over her mouth when she cries (desperate times…).

Oh Z day.

(Btw, I know there isn’t really a zombie apocalypse happening).

I was woken up at 7:30 by a monster climbing baby and I am bitter. I can’t wait for nap time.

Today I feel much better. I realize now that weekends are stressful, and this was a three day one. With Patrick and my mother home all day Dexee and I’s routine is completely thrown off.

During the weekdays we wake up between 8am and 9am…well she wakes up, I let her crawl around the bed and climb on top of me until half an hour later I give up and we get out of bed.

Dexee crawls around the living room for a while.

I heat up whatever puree on the stove. Today was blueberry, though it is too runny so I thickened it with baby cereal.  She eats it, sometimes I try to coerce her too much, forgetting that it’s not actually that important if she skips a meal. Unless I forget, she than washed everything down with a glass of water, most of which spills on her. I have to hold to cup and tilt it for her.

After that she usually crawls around the living room some more,I crawl with her.

We than go to the library or for a walk. Today we didn’t. Instead she continued to crawl around the living room, playing with her non toys, and occasionally glanced at a dolphin documentary I put on TV. (We usually don’t watch TV before Daddy gets home, but when we do, even now, I try to choose something educational).

Usually Dexee goes to sleep at 11:30, today she didn’t seem tired so I put her in the stroller and we went for a walk. At noon we got home and I nursed her down to nap.

I read a little until I realized that I hadn’t eaten yet so I peeled and cut and apple and paired it with peanut butter.

After only 20 minutes of sleep I walked back into the room and Dexee woke up. She usuaully sleeps for two and a half hours and than we wait for Dad to get home, but not today. So right now Dexee is crawling on the carpet and climbing on the furniture while March of the Penguins plays in the back round. I don’t feel bad about not doing anything productive with her right now, after all, she is supposed to be sleeping.

When Patrick gets home we’ll go for a walk if his knees aren’t acting like old men.

It will be a good day.

I still hate Northern Virginia.

When I was preparing Dexee’s bath I realized that after I go to sleep tonight I don’t want to wake up tomorrow.

Hopefully it’s temporary, but as of late, I am unhappy. I need a break from Dexee, and not just one break, more breaks. Other people hold her, watch her while I go to the grocery store, but I’m always back fairly soon. She hasn’t even had a bottle since the semester ended. It’s not because I practice “attachment parenting” by the way. It’s because of the lack of people in my life that I would feel comfortable leaving Dexee with. The only person is my mother, and she is busy doing her own things. Of course Patrick can watch her too but I enjoy hanging out with Patrick. Maybe I need to organize a girls night out with my friends. I’m too lazy.

I’m so tired.

I need to sleep.

But I just put Dexee to sleep so I’d like to enjoy my free time.