So tonight, as I was cooking, I opened up the freezer and saw the lemon lime margarita flavor frozen bag of wine and next to it a bag of pumped milk…it was a sign.
So I drank it (well ate it). Because I rarely drink I should be embarrassed to say (but I’m not because that would be dumb) I actually got almost drunk off of it. It was fun. I always eat a lot when I’m drunk though so I killed the roasted asparagus and brussels sprouts…and there were A LOT. It would have been no big if they weren’t smothered in olive oil.
After that I bathed Dexee (yeah I know, you shouldn’t do that while drinking, Patrick was there, we had super vision). And then I fed Dexee milk out of a sippy cup!
There are a few amazing things about that:
1) She actually let me feed her not out of my breast without complaing
2) She actually can drink well out of a sippy cup and not just chew on it like she does when I give her water
3) There was exactly enough milk in it to satisfy her and she crawled around happy as a clam like she usually does after I breastfeed her
and 4) We are done with bottles! Which is good because I had to throw away the only bottle we had.
This is a big one for me. It’s not as big as it would be for a baby that often drinks bottles. Considering Dexee has never actually liked bottles and has probably one drank from one about 20 times in her 9 months of living, it’s not that big of a deal. But it is to me. Bottles are out of my life forever. Sure I will probably get to feed someone elses baby one day, but not my baby. Because I plan on never having another kid (fuck you to all of the people who say I will change my mind, I can’t tell you how annoying that is, and on the internet I don’t have to smile and be nice, I can say fuck you) I will never bottle feed a child of mine again. It’s over. To me it’s a reminder that Dexee’s infancy is coming to end sooner than I think I’m ready for. I mean I am definitely ready for it. There is a part of me that is ready for her to move out! But mostly I don’t want her to not be a baby.
Another milestone: my mother took her out with her Sunday morning, just the two of them. My mom has taken her on walks before but never out, in the car. And they did great, when they came home I nursed Dexee to nap and it was awesome. She’s gone out with just her dad before but that’s her dad. A non parent is totally different.
Speaking of Dexee and my mother, Dexee is so clearly in love with her it warms my heart up. Whenever my mom gets home Dexee crawls up to her feet, stands up and reaches for my mother to pick her up. My mother plays with her and makes her laugh whenever she has her so Dexee thinks she is probably the coolest person to ever exist.
Thank the Universe for my mother!
Oh yeah, the original point of me writing this was to say that I ended up going to McDonalds and getting cookies and an apple pie.